Blah humbug

Yesterday I was sitting in our den, at the desk, on the phone with my sister. There was this goop sliding down outside on the window. So I go out to check and one of my hens( Blackbeak) was out on my front porch bleeding from her mouth. Not a little. Every time she shook her head, more goop.

I tried not to freak, grabbed an old towel, wrapped her up, got a syringe and gave her water. I ran to the yard to see where the other girls were. I found a couple, got them into the pen, checked Blackbeak, ran around looking for more.

I eventually found all but one, Lucky, my favorite. She and Blackbeak are from the same spring and always hang together. I was so internally freaked and wanted to bawl but my kids were getting off the bus and I always tell them not to worry until you have something to worry about.

I got more water into Blackbeak and she was ready to stand, so I blocked her in the doghouse on the porch and proceeded to start dinner. The whole time angry and guilt ridden about my girls.

I took some recycling out, heard a noise ran to the woods and saw my Lucky, she was fine just freaked. If she would have let me I would have hugged her, she is too dignified for that.

I figured Blackbeak was probably hit by a hawk. They strike their prey HARD. Luckily got away and came to the house. She had that rattly breathing, but drank water on her own and I gave her soft bread. I put her in the coop overnight next to her best bud and she seems fine today.

I have a hard time when we have lost some girls in the past. They want to roam the yard and woods and the majority of the time they are fine. I keep them penned up in the winter because the predators and weather are worse then. But I feel so awful, torn between them wanting out and their safety.

Now its a rainy gloomy day and I cant shake the dark funk creeping in. I have been feeling so tired and negative and that ready to cry at any moment feeling.

Looking for positives. There is a little chipmunk out the window right now looking cute and my kids are getting off the bus soon and I have barley soup simmering and a bread in the bread machine. It feels good "talking" to you.